CV Rick

My Work Season

I've made reference to my work season before . . . but now I'm going to elaborate. 

When I started my little business I thought it'd be good to make enough money to cover my expenses and pay down some of my debt while freeing me up time-wise to pursue my dream of writing.  The real appeal was to have the winter off to write. 

It's gotten a bit out of control.   I stopped advertising three years ago because I already had enough work to fill my schedule.  But it just kept coming via word of mouth. 

This fall I added over 40 new clients and went a stretch between September 1st and November 25th without an unscheduled day.  There is a recession and it's probably going to hit me, but if it takes 20% to 30% of my work away, that means I'll be at a level where I can still do all the work without destroying my body. 

Here are some highlights, and lowlights:

Work Update . . .

This weekend I updated my database and calendar in preparation for the Autumn season.  I was up very late each night working on this because I couldn't put it off any longer.  One of the things I wanted to ensure is that my regular clients (those who have scheduled me for at least the past two years and whom I like working for) will get scheduling slots this year - I don't want to miss anyone. 

I made that list of the clients I absolutely have to call . . . there are 43 of them.  Combine that with a week of guaranteed gutter cleanings in November, ten days I've promised to a cleaning company to whomI subcontract, and a large nursing home job that's already in the schedule and I've already filled 60 days of the Fall.  Take out ten days for rain/weather and that leaves me with about 20 days available between September 1st and November 30th.  Translation - - I'm a very busy guy. 

This is all with no advertising and me having raised my prices on new customers by 25%. 

Oh, and if any of you know someone who is a wiz with Word, Excel, and mail merging to custom documents, have them give me a call.  I have work that I don't have time to mess around with.  I'll pay.  (actually, I use Open Office but I can convert the files to Word and Excel). 

 - rick, busy

I Don't Understand Some People

I felt sorry for my client.  She came to the door in a wheelchair when I delivered the estimate.  She was in that same wheelchair when we showed up to do the job.  It was obvious she was having a hard time getting around.  To make matters worse her house was a split level home with several short sets of stairs.  That must have been rough.

We started the work and she talked to me about how difficult it was to get around and how they were putting the house on the market so that she could find a home with no stairs.  Seemed reasonable.  Then she got up and walked over to a window to show me a problem with one of the hand cranks that open the window.

She got up and walked over to the window.  From the wheelchair.  Did you catch that?

Her car was in the garage and it had the blue handicapped tag in the window.  Several times she sighed and complained about lack of mobility.  But later as I was working, she got up again, picked up a single crutch and went up two of the flights of stairs to be in her office.  Then she hopped around the office without a crutch to gather up some paperwork before she sat at her computer.

"What happened?" I asked, about her handicap.

"I rolled my ankle playing tennis.  I had surgery and they put a pin in my ankle."

Tennis?  A pin?  A single pin in the ankle?  Shit, I have a pin in my knee and two in my wrist and those weren't major surgeries at all.  Most of my friends have had operations of some sort or another with pins, plates, and perhaps random dinnerware inserted in their bodies.  No wheelchairs that I know of.

"I had to quit my job because there was too much walking?" 

I had to ask.  "What did you do?"

"I was an office manager."

I just about went off right there.  But I didn't.  I went back to work because talking to her wasn't making the work go any faster and laughing at her would've been a poor choice of actions.

Then the medical supply company arrived.  I shit you not.  They brought her an electric cart, like you see old people driving around the shopping center. 

So I asked, "Is the injury permanent?" 

"No, the doctor says I'll be in physical therapy next week.  I was supposed to start this week but I'm in too much pain."

"Did the doctor recommend the wheelchair?"  I had to know.

"No.  I decided to get the mobility aids on my own, but I made him give me the handicapped parking tag.  Can you believe for something this serious he wasn't going to prescribe a parking tag?  But I insisted."

Mobility Aids.  She had the nerve to say mobility aids. 

So, thank your lucky stars you're not in such terrible shape as my client, Ms. Mobility Aid.

 - rick, disbelieving.

My Week In Pictures

One of my clients asked me if I could go out to her cabin and pressure wash, clean windows, etc.   She said that I could use the facilities, stay a couple nights, fish on the lake, etc. if I did it.  Plus charging her.

What do you think of when you think of cabin?

I think of this:

So, with that in mind, I took Large and we went up for a couple of days to work.

Apparently I was wrong.  After the jump you can see what my client thinks a cabin is:

Anecdotal Saturday

I'm interested in what my clients do.  They all have enough disposable income to hire people to clean their houses and wash their windows, so few if any of them are struggling financially.  Usually I just ask, "So, what do you do?"  I don't blurt it out, but I bring it up in conversation when the clues and hints in their house aren't enough for me to figure it out. 

There are the lawyers, which comprise the vast majority of my client base.  There are business owners and upper executives of the large corporations in the area.  There are doctors of various specialties and there are more than a couple hospital administrators and health insurance representatives. 

But two of my clients have surprised me with their answer. 

One of my long-term repeat clients is a piano player.  Specifically, he plays Christmas music.  He records CDs of him playing Christmas music and sells them on the Home Shopping Network.  That has been enough to secure him a multi-million dollar house on the lake and the lifestyle that goes with it.

And another of my clients invented a shoe accessory.  So I inquiring further.  She patented two pieces of ribbon, which when secured around the heel of a high-heel shoe can then be wrapped around a woman's leg and tied somewhere between her calf and knee.  (sounds like stripper-wear to me).  She sells this invention on . . . . the Home Shopping Network.  And she's made a bundle doing it. 

Interesting, no?

 - rick, uncreative.

 - note:  for purposes of this post, I group all shopping channels under the title The Home Shopping Network - because I don't know anything about those channels except there are quite a few of them and I've never purchased a single item from any of them.  I've never even watched it longer than it takes to scan while going channel up and channel down on the remote.  I don't actually know if there is a HSN still or whether its name has changed since the 80's.  I do know that Christmas presents from my mom always come in a QVC box.

The Job Interview, or Lessons in Sabotage

I'm not looking for a bright shining beacon of industrious brilliance.  I'm looking for a helper: someone strong enough to move the ladders, smart enough not to break things, honest enough not to steal, and brave enough not to fear heights.  It shouldn't be too hard.

I interviewed my fifth candidate last night.  Now he knew what job he was interviewing for, but he showed up in a pinstripe suit with white tie.  That was my first clue that this guy wouldn't be right for me.  But I gave it a chance and I was hopeful through our discussion.  He'd had a rough life but it looked like things were getting on track for him.  He had his own place, his own transportation, and a fiancé which is how I knew of him because his fiancé is a nice, hardworking employee for a business friend. 

He seemed eager enough and he showed a grasp for my requirements.  I was ready to give him a shot, until the end. 

"God bless you," he said.  "I'll pray for you tonight."

"Excuse me?" 

"I'm a very spiritual guy," he continued.  "And I was also wondering about the hours, because I need to be at church by five on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and I need every Sunday off for sure.  I have to constantly strengthen my bonds with my Savior."

"Oh," I said.  I didn't really have anything else to say.  What do you say to someone who just spontaneously decided he was going to pray for me.  Do I need his prayers?  Will his prayers prompt me to hire him?  Will his Jesus come down and do the Jedi mind trick on me and then one day this guy will be working for me and I'll hand him his paycheck and then I'll wonder, 'how did that happen?'

I met him at a coffee shop for the interview because I don't have a formal office.  After being blessed, I escaped. 

 - rick, creeped out

My Week In Pictures

This week has been all about work.  In fact, I had a scheduling snafu (that means I fucked up and double-booked) which caused a couple of really long days. 

One of the things I like about my clients' homes is that they have worked so hard to make their living spaces unique, beautiful and comfortable (okay, some of the houses are too formal to be comfortable).  Some of the pieces of art are really cool.  Like this one, carved from a tree trunk:


The other thing I really like is when a house has a great view.  This one did.  It's a sprawling 14,000 sq foot home right on the bank of the Mississippi River.  After the jump, their view:

The Reports are Exaggerated

It seems that my son, Large, isn't the troublemaker his mother reported him to be.  He likes to skateboard and he'd rather hang out with friends than study, but I have a copy of his report card in my hand and there's nothing short of an A on it.  He doesn't smoke, he doesn't drink, and he was open in telling me that tried smoking pot a couple of times.  Him telling me that is all I could ask for . . . I'd rather have the honesty than anything else.  He's polite, he's willing to do anything I ask, and he's not whined once about anything.  He's a good kid.

This week I've had him working with me. Yesterday we finished up this building:

Here's a closer view from the other side:



It's a nursing home - assisted living for the elderly.  One of the nice older ladies opened her window and tried to give Large a Keychain for doing such a good job making her windows sparkle so nicely.

Here he is . .. 

after the jump

My Week in Pictures

Better than a Tonka Truck - -

Some windows are just time intensive.  Like in the following photo there are a lot of small panes of glass.  Variously, my customers call these windows French cuts, cut-ups, or true divided light.  Whatever name you prefer, it just takes a lot of time and a small squeegee to clean them all. 
On this particular job, these windows were all around the house; hundreds of them.  The homeowner's four year-old son was inside and walked from room to room while I worked.  He waved at me, put his fingers on the other side of the glass to see what it felt like when someone was washing that window.  He laughed and pointed and jumped around.  After I finished, his mom came out and said, "You're better than a Tonka truck." 

For keeping her son entertained, I'm sure.

Want to see my brother work?  That's after the jump:

My Week In Pictures - a Difficult Job

I just wanted to show y'all what I do.

The challenge is to reach these windows:

But to complicate matters, the ground is uneven and the house is built into a hill.

That makes ladder placement difficult.

Keep reading

The CV Rick Radical Weight Loss Program

This year I've come up with a program guaranteed to shed pounds and inches.  It's not the SuccessWarrior Plan, but It's so radical that it'll be considered dangerous by most experts.  In fact, I ought to get my head examined.

Last year while working, my brother and I would stop by one of these fine establishments every day at lunchtime.

But this year, the plan is as follows. 

Pack a sandwich.  Bring a half-gallon of water (and some EmergenC vitamin packets to mix with water).  Bring a piece of fruit (I prefer bananas or pears).  And finally a couple of Clif Bars to supplement as snacks. 

That's the program.  Bring my lunch and work really hard all day long. 

It seems to be working.  Don't tell anyone.

My Week in Photos

One of the more interesting things about my job is the magnificent houses I get to work in . . . and it's self-perpetuating.  The more large beautiful houses I work in, the more owners of other large, beautiful houses hear about me and hire me.   

This is one of the prize homes I've done.  It's okay for me to put the photo on my blog because it's an historic home that's been turned into a museum/tour.  No one lives there any longer.

more photos after the jump:

Business Decisions

I watched my father's business crumble around him when I was a teenager.  At the time I knew everything and I knew that I could have run it better than he did.  I was cocky and hadn't tasted the bittersweetness of failure. Combine that with immortality and that's the teenage me. 

I don't know if I could've done it better looking back.  But I know that I learned some very valuable lessons from my dad's disaster.  I've taken those lessons into my own business, and it seems to be working.

This Spring my schedule is full.

Think about that for a second.  I perform a luxury service for people – strictly speaking, it's an unnecessary thing to have one's windows washed. 

Whether you believe we're in a recession or not, and I think we probably are, we are entering a period of undeniable inflation.  Food prices have raised more than at any time in two decades, gas is more expensive than it's ever been (adjusted for inflation), and the housing market is in a slump. Despite all this, my schedule is full.   

I attribute this to several things. 

Great Art - Great Love

This is the story of Lui and Xu who were in love.  In China fifty years ago it was improper for Lui, a 19 year old young man to marry Xu, a 20 year old widowed mother.  So they eloped and went to live in a cave on top of a mountain.  Knowing that it was difficult for Xu to climb up and down the mountain, Lui started carving steps into the mountain, by hand.  Over the next fifty years he created a staircase from the top to the bottom of the mountain for his wife.  Over 6000 steps.

He recently died.

From the article:

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years-old, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms.

So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife’s hand even after he had passed away.

“You promised me you’ll take care of me, you’ll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?” … …

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband’s black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story had became one of the top 10 love stories from China, collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the “love ladder” and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

Follow the Link for more of the story, and the video in Chinese. 

rick, a fellow obsessive, impressed.

The Final Job

After today, it's over.  Finished.  Finally.

It's not a big job.  It'll take about four hours.  It's not a complicated one, just double-hung combinations with storms.  We'll (my brother and I) take apart the storm windows and bring them inside the house, then we'll close and lock all of the double-hungs.  I'll go outside, get on the ladder and wash them while my brother stays inside in the warmth and washes all the storms, sitting them on towels so the edges don't drip onto floor or carpet.  We'll then put them all together and declare our work finished. 

Once home I'll remove and store the ladders in the garage.  I'll empty my toolbox and remove the towels, tools, and pails from the backseat.  Then it's over. 

We should've been done three weeks ago, but Minnesota experienced a cold snap - a surprise to even the hearty Northlanders.  It's not been above freezing for a single second in twenty-three days.

Waiting for the weather to break I've been fitting in these last few jobs.  I've had to use chemicals to keep the solution from freezing.  I've had to wear insulated pants and layers of shirts, jackets, and coats to keep warm.  I've had to keep all my tools and ladders handy .  . just in case.

There was the cold day when we did the smoker's house.  They were both three-pack-a-day people.  They also had cats, three of them.  By the time we finished I smelled awful, my eyes were stinging and red, and I couldn't breathe.  On top of that, my pants were snow covered.  I was wet and miserable. 

There was another cold day (aren't they all at this point?) when I spent an hour rigging lines and figuring out how to get to some skylights.  Their roof was covered in eight inches of snow topping a layer of treacherous ice.  On top of that, they'd had all new windows installed - which means razor-blading the stickers and residue off.  In the best of times, that's difficult enough to do without creating scratches.   When it's cold, it's a near impossibility because the solution doesn't help dissolve the adhesive residue.

"What about the garage windows? And the basement?" 

"We discussed that when I did the estimate, Ma'am.  I have the notes right here - no garage, no basement."

Anger, frustration, then I decided, Fuck It.  And we got out stuff back out and just did the extra work for free so we could leave.  I was already miserable, my mood wasn't going to be harmed by that.  A client for the "do not schedule again" bin. 

But this is it.  A nice little job for a great lady,  a judge in the district court.   She wants the work done before Christmas, but she's been so nice and concerned that I'd be cold and uncomfortable.  She was willing to wait till Spring, but I could tell that'd be a disappointment.  It's not her fault it got too cold.  So, I've been waiting for a break, a temperature rise.  I've been keeping her updated.  And today's the day.  We'll be there at noon.  We'll be done by four. 

You'll be reading this tomorrow and I'll be on the way to the airport to pick up my son, visiting for the holidays. 

It's over.  It's done.

- rick, happy.

ps.  I know the thermometer picture looks like a frozen dick . . . but then, that's kind of appropriate, don't you think?

A Recap of the Window Washing Season

The highlights and lowlights of the season.

The Best Day of the Year: 

My fifteen year old son wanted to work with me to earn some money this year.  I took him to a house with a bunch of French doors and true divided light windows.  Before we started I showed him how to clean with a small squeegie and then he tried, but it's not easy to learn.  I showed him again and he tried again.  When I went to show him for the third time, he said, “Dad, just leave me here.  I'll get it if I just keep practicing.”  So I went off to do my own work.  When I returned later he was doing a great job.  By the end of the day he'd done every French Door in the house and they were perfect.  Afterward we went out to eat and then to the movies.  It's a great feeling to work with my son and it's fantastic to see him show his independence and tenacity.

The Worst Day of the Year:

I was sick.  The previous evening I started feeling queasy.  By bedtime I was puking.  I spent most of the night on the bathroom floor moaning.  That day I was exhausted, weakened, and miserable, yet I spent the whole day climbing ladders and working.  I had no place to move the job and the homeowner was depending on us to finish her house.  The next day she was hosting a large political fundraiser and wealthy contributors were flying in from all over the country.  I suffered through.

Most Surreal Experience:

Being screened by the Secret Service before being allowed onto the property of one of my clients.  They were hosting a large party.  Dick Cheney and Norm Coleman were going to be in attendance.  It reminded me of security checks from my time in the service.

More About My Secret Identity

Since I'm very opinionated and confrontational, I tend to attract people with rage issues.  That's fine in real life.  But on the internet people get obsessive and freaky. 

Several years ago Sugar and I were in a real bind.  By real bind, I mean we were in bad shape financially.  We were in debt to the maximum possible (credit cards, student loan, medical bills, auto payments, etc.), living paycheck to paycheck, and we had no cash on hand.  Then Sugar got laid off.  Her company merged, downsized, sent people packing, yada yada yada.  I'd already quit my engineering job so that I could have time and energy to be with my family and have time to write.  I was working at the Science Museum of Minnesota designing and building exhibits.  While it was a fun job with great, creative, intelligent people, it didn't pay worth a shit.  It certainly didn't pay enough to cover mine and Sugar's bills and put food on the table, even with her unemployment.

I had to make a choice and I had no time to do it. 

"You'll never get rich working for someone else." 

There's that voice again. 

But I wasn't looking to get rich, I was looking for a little breathing room.  That and more money than I was currently making.  I had a friend who was working two jobs, one for a drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinic (a big business here in Minneapolis) as a counselor and the other as a window washer.  He had a very flexible schedule with the window washing, since he just had a list of businesses he had to go to every week and as long as he got them done his boss didn't complain.  For extra money he would wash the windows in people's homes.  He told me how much he made for one of those jobs and it came out to about four times what I was making at the Science Museum.  Wow.

"I can talk to my boss and get you a route," he said. 

"I have a better idea," I said. "Why don't you teach me how to do this work.  I'll come with you for a week for nothing.  I'll help you with your jobs, with some houses, and we'll both benefit." 

He agreed.

Saturday Meme

As many of you know, I listen to audiobooks while I work.  I listen to a lot of audiobooks, in fact.  When I have time I review the books I listen to, but this work season I've had no time for both this blog and the review blog.  So, I'm going to list each book I've listened to in the past few months and give you a brief impression.  This will do until I can write a true review.  You'll notice that I recommend most of the books on this list - that's because I put all my books in order of what I anticipated liking the most.  It's my work season, and I wanted to enjoy it.  Another thing you'll notice is that I listened to a lot of first books in series without the rest of the series.  When I structured my queue I started with a lot of firsts, with the understanding that if I liked them, I'd put the rest of the books in line for next year.  I didn't want to be stuck listening to a five book series and not enjoying it. 

Also, in between every two audiobooks I also listen to an episode of This American Life.  I'm not going to list all those. 

How is this a meme you might ask.  What I'm asking you to do is to list the books you've read in the same amount of time (four months) or year if you prefer.  Or just read this list, enjoy it, and leave a comment.  It's an ambitious meme, so here goes:

Title:  You Suck, A Love Story
Author:  Christopher Moore
Playing Time (hour:minute:second):  7:45:47

One Sentence Synopsis: Vampires in love and on the run.

Summary:  Moore writes clever, fast dialogue and weaves the most improbable plot twists into a manageable story that pokes fun at itself and at the reader.  I recommend it.  It was a nice break from more serious fare.

Recommend:  Yes

Title:  Strangers on a Train
Author:  Patricia Highsmith
Playing Time (hour:minute:second):  9:27:06

One Sentence Synopsis: Disgruntled strangers meet and agree to do each others morbid dirty work.

Summary:  It's a nicely written story and kept me interested, but the plot was somewhat forced.  I felt like the pieces were too carefully assembled without any randomness that would give it a real-to-life feel.

Recommend: I'm in the middle, between yes and no on this one.

Title:  Going After Cacciato
Author:  Tim O'Brien
Playing Time (hour:minute:second):  3:02:21

One Sentence Synopsis: A soldier decides to walk away from the war and toward Paris.

Summary:  This has the mood of soldiers wanting out of an unpopular war.  It doesn't take much to send them over the top, or over the wall for that matter.  It's an against-all-odds trek through a surreal landscape that every warrior takes in his daydreams.

Recommend:  Yes

Title:  Bliss
Author:  O.Z. Livaneli
Playing Time (hour:minute:second):  9:03:28

One Sentence Synopsis: The book is a question: should religious murders be tolerated?

Summary:  It's less a book than a novel-length lecture on morality.  Yes, I agree that women shouldn't be below men and shouldn't be murdered if they shame the family.  I even deny the concept of shame.  But I don't need to be beaten over the head with it.

Recommend:  No

many more after the jump

My Secret Identity Explained

I tell you people a lot about me and my past, more than I've told anyone before in real life or in letters.  But what I don't tell you is who I am now and what I do, and I'm going to tell you why.

In the mid-90's I was bearing an excruciating schedule.  Between full-time work, raising a son, and taking a full course load in grad school at the University of Oklahoma, I had all I could handle.  Sometimes late at night I needed some mind-numbing entertainment, so I'd log into my dial-up connection, route through the University server, and enter IRC, or Internet Relay Chat.  There I'd chat with all kinds of people about anything but school and work.  It was a good break.

One of my favorite topics then, as well as now, was politics.  And I'd discuss politics as it related to my own time in the military.  Unfortunately some people don't like disagreement and hate hearing the truth when it disputes their own beliefs.  I met one of these people online.  He was adamantly pro-military, pro-war, and anti-Clinton.  He refused to believe anything I told him about my military service or my personal experience.  My big mistake was not using a creative handle, instead preferring my real name.

I received a phone call.  It was my Company Commander.  I'd been a civilian for five years, and my commander was on the line.  "Do you know a man named Adam Monroy?" he asked.

"No, sir," I said.

"He claims to know you and he's spending a lot of time asking about you."

"Excuse me?"

Saturday Meme - 10 Jobs I Don't Want

This one is from Cele.  It's the ten jobs I don't want.  And by the way, the poster is from Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe.  It's one of the best real shows I've seen.

#1 Engineer.  I have been an engineer, I have worked around engineers, I have thought like engineers.  Let me tell you about being "white collar" and being treated like a piece of machinery.  Hundred hour weeks, night after night after night in hotels in awful places around the country.  They've quantified the engineer's work into manageable bites so carefully that companies know how many keystrokes on a computer a certain kind of calculation is supposed to take, how much time a drawing is allowed for completion, and exactly kind of results and answers are to be expected.  Combine that with outsourcing, engineering is one of the most under appreciated, automated rote task by task examples of drudgery on the planet.  Why would anyone ever go to college to become something that actually has decreasing job value and wages?  Forget it.

#2 Human Resources.  You can have it.  I don't like paperwork in the first place.  I'm not fond of people in the second.  And the last thing in this world I want to be responsible for is people's problems.  What kind of hell would that be?

#3 Any job that requires me to be in a cubicle.  I don't want to work on decorating my little slice of upholstered wall in order to give it unauthorized personality.  Been there, done that.  Want to know why I laugh so hard at The Office?  Because it's all factual . . . that show isn't a stretch in any direction. 

#4 Cop.  All respect to Alan, but I couldn't do it.  I don't want to exert any authority over people to obey the little things in life, like parking and traffic laws.  I can understand protecting people from violence and arrested those who commit violent crimes, but searching and cuffing a pot smoker?  No thank you.  It's just not the Protect and Serve occupation I'd imagine is needed.

six more after the jump

The Breakfast Assembly Line

School's started and my busy season is just getting underway . . . and by busy, I mean twelve hour days and not a day off until it snows in November - with continuing work into December. 

Fast food is bad for us and the kids need to eat before going to school.  Oh, and I need to eat as well.  So I went out and found or invented several breakfast solutions that can be made in advance and frozen.  Microwave these up before school or work and one major issue of the day is solved.

Yogurt Pops.  Mix two cups plain yogurt with one cup 100% fruit juice (we used Mango) and a little less than a cup of cut up fruit (we used banana).  Ladle into dixie cups and put in freezer for 45 minutes (until they are starting to set up) and then insert plastic spoons or Popsicle sticks.  After they are frozen solid, they're delicious and really great on hot days.

Breakfast Burritos.  These are the hands-down favorites in my house.  Scramble a dozen eggs until they are perfectly fluffy.  (I like putting some milk in the scramble because it gives it a smoother texture and better color).  Cook a package of breakfast sausage loosely until browned through.  Now you're ready for the assembly line.  On a flour tortilla spread a spoonful of egg, some sausage, sprinkle cheese, put a bit of salsa to taste, more egg, more cheese, fold it up, wrap in Saran Wrap and put in the freezer.  Repeat until the ingredients are gone.  We make fifteen at a time with those ingredients. 

Breakfast Sammiches.  We made them on both English Muffins and Bagels, so it's your choice.  Fry some eggs, break the yoke early in the frying.  Try to keep the eggs round a small on the griddle or in the pan by controlling the flow with a spatula or folding over when you turn them.  Now the assembly line.  On each sammich put an egg, piece of sliced cheese, and slice of Canadian Bacon (if you want meat on them).  Wrap in Saran, put in freezer.  We made a couple dozen of these.

Now we have breakfasts for a long time and cooking them all at once saves time.

We also made Chicken Nuggets as an after-school snack. 

Chicken Nuggets.  You'll need two bowls (keep them small and keep refilling each so that everything stays more tidy).  In one bowl mix an egg with a dash of water and beat it until it's a smooth color.  In the other bowl mix up corn flakes (see below), a tablespoon of flour, half a teaspoon of salt, half a teaspoon of pepper, and some grated Parmesan cheese (I used the amount that I could pick up between two fingers and a thumb, so it's not scientifically measured).  The corn flakes - Fill a medium sized ziploc bag with unsweetened corn flakes, seal, then crush them until they are essentially powder. 

For the chicken, you cut up several (we used six, all natural, organic, free range) breasts into one inch cubes.  Then you dip each chunk into the egg, roll it into the corn flake bowl until covered and put it on a pan.  Put the pan in the oven at 375 deg. F. for thirteen or fourteen minutes and remove.  Let cool and then put the nuggets into individual zip-loc bags and freeze.  We kept the pans full and going in and out of the oven for quite a while and got 12 bags of ten nuggets each.  Of course, they're all gone now.  These are better than any fast food nuggets.

Quick, healthy, convenient.  Enjoy.

- rick, efficient.

Get Them in Debt

This week I attended a birthday party for gf's mother.  While there talking to one of the relatives the subject of hiring employees came up.  I mentioned that I've been having little luck finding someone to hire and this guy, we'll call him Shark, started giving me some advice.  The advice he gave me just floored me, leaving me speechless in light of where I am with my own business, with my life, with my writing 'career.'  As some of you know, I'm following Alan's Financial Program for getting out of debt and remaining debt-free.

Shark has hired his share of employees at his job as a regional manager of a pharmaceutical company.  Mainly he's hiring reps to "establish relationships" (meaning SELL) with doctors, clinics, pharmacies, etc.  Once he gets through the basic resume and determines that they'll be qualified for the job, he meets them and determines if they have a good attitude.  For him, these job seekers are fresh out of college, and he asks them an innocent question about student loans.  The ones who have student loan debt are the ones he's most interested in.

"Why?" I asked.

"Those are the guys or gals who need the job the most and are willing to take a lower starting salary," he said.  (and, yes, he did call them gals)

That wasn't the end of the advice, however.  He had pointers for me on retaining new hires and making them work like slaves. 

Hornets

From Wikipedia, regarding hornets:

Actions to avoid

• Disturbing a nest (including vibrations and loud noises)
• Being within a few meters or yards of a nest
• Disturbing or killing a hornet within a few meters of a nest
• Blocking the path of a hornet
• Breathing on the nest or hornet

So, there I was, climbing onto a porch roof to reposition a client's gutter.  I pulled the downspout out of the upper gutter, shook it to free it of all clogged debris, then put it back on.  Then I stepped onto my ladder, which was extended upward to the higher roof, where I fastened the main gutter back onto the house. 

Simple.  Right?

Then I felt pain in my ankle.  I looked down and immediately saw a hornet stinging through my sock.  Instead of my heavy-duty work shoes, I had on my mesh tennis shoes because it was going to be a short day and I needed to run some errands after work. 

Don't panic.

Panhandling

There are a lot more panhandlers out this year than I can remember seeing from previous years.  To me that's a sign that the wealth isn't Trickling Down.  Panhandling is hard as well . . . I don't handle rejection very easily and that's why I'm not a good salesman, but if I panhandled I'd have to deal with rejection from almost everyone I saw.  But as it is a form of occupation and as it's very competitive the more clever, the more sincere, the less obstructive tend to get the most cash.

I suggest panhandlers learn some tricks that will get them a bigger slice of the ever decreasing handout pie.

I saw a panhandler carrying around this sign once: 

I gave him money . . . in fact I was driving my truck at the time and I went around the block to give him three bucks.

Honesty is a good policy:

New Ladder Techniques

I've been learning a lot about ladders on the Internet.  I use ladders a lot in my work and new techniques are important.  I might try them out next time I'm at Tim's house.  ;-)  Without further adieu, here are the photos I've found most valuable:

A Blog to Real Life Follow Up & A Survey!!!!

For those of you who have been reading this blog for a while, I have some real life follow-ups related to posts I've done.

First:  Sue came up to me while I was ordering breakfast at the Seward Cafe.  She had lived with Dean Carr for many years before he died; his widow for all practical purpose. Remember Dean?  He's the one I wrote about who had the secret and former life as a talented musician.  Sue found the piece on him while searching the web and even though she didn't comment on the blog, she thanked me and told me that it was one of the nicest things anyone had written about Dean. 

Second:  The owner of the “Rare House Indeed” called me, pleased that her and her husband's dream home had made the blog and had been written up so nicely.  However, she read more posts, included the one about televisions and told me that it's good that I keep my blog and my work separated as I wouldn't want clients like that getting upset. 

Third:  I talked to Ben Widget yesterday.  Remember, from the job offer and the “encounter” in a factory parking lot.  My last name is part of my business name and it's prominent on my truck, so he saw me, stopped, and we had a talk. He wanted to make sure that all that “other stuff” was in the past and if we could be cordial and I certainly agreed.  He was surprised that I could be happy doing something nontechnical, so far removed from engineering.  However, when I explained to him how rapidly my business has grown and how I never have to work hundred hour weeks, he understood.  He even asked for an estimate on some work he wanted done on his own house . . . but when I gave it to him he balked at the price.  “I'm the best around,” I explained. “Not the cheapest.”

The Survey - - -  Now that Connecticut is finished I'm putting it up to a voice vote in the comments . . . tell me which of the following Episode Stories you'd like me to pursue next.  (Alma the Lamanite will still be coming out every Thursday for a few more weeks, by the way)

A. my roommate the bankrobber
B. my roommate who dated the stripper
C. a sex tour of the Philippines
D. a sex tour of Thailand
E. Kyle, the fisherman who cut off his own finger for the insurance money

- rick, stories continue even after the blog is written.

What is Success to Me

Success Warrior issued a challenge.  Each person to define success as they perceive it.  This is my attempt to meet that challenge.

What is Success? 

Everyone is going to define success differently and that definition is going to change as one's priorities change.  I'm going to define success through people I've known or know through a degree of separation.

I know of a woman who has defined success as power, fame, and influence.  To her there is no higher pinnacle of success than to be living in the White House at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C.  To that end she's demanded her husband become president of the United States . . . she doesn't care about his character, his infidelities, or the deals he'll have to make to get there.  He's a Senator now, with lofty ambitions. Nothing less than President will do however.  For her that is success.

I know a man who has lived an interesting life.  He has children and grandchildren and loves nothing more than putting interesting debris together in beautiful patterns that he calls art.  He's not a wealthy man, nor particularly secure, but every day he can work on his art is a day of success in his life.

The Competition

This week one of my competitors stopped at a house I was working on.  He was visibly upset when he got out of his unmarked white van. 

"This is my customer, man," he said as he walked up to my truck where I was putting tools back in the toolbox.

"Yeah?  You must be Greg.  I'm Rick," I offered my hand.  He shook it hesitantly.  "I got her on a referral from her sister," I continued.

"I've been doing this house for five years," he said.  "I've watched you and I don't get it.  I'm better than you and that other guy who works with you."

"That's my brother.  My baby brother actually."  His eyebrows raised.  My brother is considerably bigger than I am, with shoulders too wide for some doorways.  "I think you mean you're faster than I am, Greg.  Faster than almost anyone I've seen.  Hell, I've watched you move a ladder and climb it faster than I can position one.  I'll grant you that you're one fast dude.  Better?  No.  I've taken too many customers away from you for that to be true."  We're in a very competitive field with dozens of others, ranging from single fly-by-night guys to whole departments of large corporations, working in our small city.  To carve out a good client base is a tough proposition.

"You think you're better?"

I nodded.  Then without going into all the details in this post, I explained the things we do for our customers that differs from his service.  I also explained the special care we take for our customer's possessions and homes while we work. 

"You can't make any money that way, it takes too much time.  I can do two jobs in the time it takes you to do one, even with your employee - err, brother."

"How much time and money do you spend on advertising, Greg?"  He paused and looked confused.  "I don't spend any because my schedule's full."

Greg walked back to his van shaking his head.  His former customer has already scheduled to have us come back next Spring.

- rick, busy and apparently naive.

Surreal Experience #2

Upon finishing the job, my client and I chatted a bit on her front porch. 

"What do you do that you get to work from home so much," I asked.

"I'm a lobbyist for a major health insurance company," she said.

"Anything in particular you're working on?" I asked.

"Just working to educated people on the evils of a single payer system.  They don't have a clue how bad it would be," she said.

The yards on either side of my client had Single Payer campaign signs.  Both were right up next to her property line. 

Neighborhood parties must be fun.

- rick, in favor of universal care.

Originality

As a follow-up to the idea I started yesterday, let's talk about originality. 

When I say that you have to live your own dream, your own unique vision, what I mean is that you have to do it with originality.  You have to make your own mark.  For me, I started a business that thousands of other people are doing, so it's not original in that respect.  But my approach, my advertising, my systems, and my methods are all original.  I've brought my own personality to the job and that makes an enormous difference.

Sister Mary Lisa wants to be a fine artist which is an admirable goal.  I'm not a judge of what is fine art, but I am an observer as to what has worked for others. 

I know a man who decided he wanted to be a photographer.  He bought some equipment and then convinced Drag Queens to pose for him.  He's done dozens of photo shoots of Drag Queens from around the world posing in unique ways.  He's had a gallery show in New York and is working on a coffee table sized book of the best from his portfolio.  He might not be the best photographer in the world, and he might not have the best equipment, but he has a unique vision and he's done it his own way.

I know a woman from New Zealand who makes sculptures from bending copper and aluminum wire into a shape that resembles the outlines of whatever idea she has in her head. She adds color and some inner structure.  She's the only one I know of who uses that unique method of sculpture – oh, I've seen wireframes before but this has a very unique feel.

If you don't follow your own unique vision, but instead imitate others you aren't going to excel in your field.  You might be the best watercolor painter in the world, but if you paint impressionist flowers and fields, you're going to be “in the style of Van Gogh.”  If you paint in oil on canvas and your subject matter is cabins in the snowy mountains or barns in the Midwest, you might make a modest living selling prints in mall poster shops.  But that's not your own dream, it was somebody else's first.

Rick Gives Career Advice

Today I had an hour between jobs, so I went to a coffee shop and caught up on my book reviewing. 

I've noticed, since I do regular work at six coffee shops, that this is the preferred locations for one-on-one sales pitches, and that most of those sales pitches involve trying to convince people to live someone else's sanitized dream. 

Two women sat at the table next to me and I was able to clearly hear their conversation.  The seller had a laptop computer open and was going through a power point presentation with a familiar pattern.  First a discussion of very wealthy people - Donald Trump, Richard Branson, etc.  Second a discussion of what it is about them that makes them suited to wealth.  Third a comparison of the qualities that would allow woman number two (buyer) to become that wealthy.  Fourth a list of all the fabulous opportunity Seller has had since becoming a wealth magnet. And fifth and finally a description of exactly what buyer needs to do to become as fabulously wealthy as Donald Trump. 

I wanted to get up, go over to buyer, and tell her she's being scammed.  I didn't - it's not polite to interfere with someone's pyramid scheme. 

Don't get me wrong.  I don't have the magic answer to the wealth question either.  But I do know a few things.  The first thing I know is that you can't be successful following someone else's dream.  You can't do someone else's plan and gain fabulous wealth because the fabulous wealth is already sucked out of that dream. 

You have to do things with your own direction, your own spin, your own unique vision.  You have to do it your way.

When I started my little business, I could've purchased a franchise.  I could've paid for a prepackaged marketing plan.  I could've bought sales leads by the thousands.  I could've bought a whole program on how to do it. 

Instead, I figured out what I wanted to do and then came up with a good method to do it.  I was listening to a radio show about a related type of business - not a how to show, but just an interview with someone who was doing something cool - and I thought to myself, "you know Self, living someone else's dream isn't working for you."

Wild Turkey

I have a lot of clients around Kenwood park in Minneapolis.  It's a very nice park surrounded by multi-million dollar homes and it has the only real deli sandwich shop in the city. 

Tuesday morning I arrived at a client's house and her dog was going nuts so we went out in the back yard to see.  There, wandering around the edge of the pool was a turkey. Seeing us, it ran to the fence, leaped it and then ran down a few front yards before crossing the street and disappearing into the park. 

Just so you know, we are in the inner city at Kenwood Park.  There is at least fifteen miles of suburban sprawl separating us from any kind of rural life.  Despite this obstacle there are quite a few animals making their home in the city.  I've seen several deer including a young buck living in the marsh around a private high school.  In the park near my apartment there are at least two snow owls and several hawks.  While I haven't seen them myself, several clients have told me about raccoons.

The message is that nature isn't too far away if you just pay attention.  The other message is that if a city has enough green space, it'll support unintended life and that's not a bad thing. 

Seeing a wild turkey wandering through the yards made me wonder how many there are out in the park.  They're so good at hiding that it'd be hard to get a good count even in such a small area.  They could be living all around Lake of the Isles, which borders the park and has several uninhabited islands.  If I had more time and some talent, it'd be fun to do a photo essay of wildlife shot in an urban backdrop. 

- rick, amazed

Surreal Experience #1

My client is an oral surgeon.  While working in his family room he's watching Marthon Man, a 1976 movie starring Dustin Hoffman and Lawrence Olivier.  I look over and it's the scene where the evil Nazi dentist is pulling Hoffman's teeth out to torture him. 

My client looks at me and says, "That's not really how we pull teeth."

I nod, nervously. 

He adds, "Not most of the time, anyway."

- rick, still a little creeped out.

Sales Tax Rise

In a gracious move to give welfare and economic assistance to our local struggling billionaire, the State Legislature approved public funding of a new baseball stadium.  This is after the issue was defeated at the ballot - TWICE!  Poor Billionaire Carl Pohlad needed the break, it seems, because the big bad public didn't want him to build a brand new stadium wherein he could raise ticket prices and make the cost of attending a baseball game out of the reach of legions of poor children and families who currently barely afford that form of entertainment now.

Anyone who supports this stadium is a Dickhead.  Wait, anyone who supports this stadium is also an Asshole.

I got a notice in the mail yesterday about the sales tax increase - - 0.15%.  That's the most annoying thing, right there.  I can calculate the current sales tax in my head for all my jobs, 7% and 6.5% (within Minneapolis city limits it's a half-percent higher), but now I'm going to have to charge 7.15% and 6.65%.  I refuse to carry a calculator with me because I don't want another piece of equipment to keep track of.

Dickheads and Assholes I hope you're happy with yourselves because I'm going to punch the first person who says how glad they are that the stadium is being built at taxpayer expense in the face.

That pit of the stomach feeling

Yesterday I arrived at my job, happy and ready to go.  The sun was out, the day was warm, and everything was falling into place . . .

until . . .

I got to the job found that it was about double the work I'd estimated, and then I got the phone call.

Me:  "Hello, this is Rick."

"Rick, where are you?"

uh oh.

Me:  "Who is this?"

"This is your client, we had an October 15th appointment.  Nine A.M."

uh oh.

I double-booked.  I thought I'd remember, didn't put it in the calendar, and wham . . . first time this year and I was mortified.  The worst part about it was the client who called is the nicest lady, a real pleasure to do work for, and I'd screwed up. 

The result?  We worked extra-hard, extra-fast, and finished the first job, went to the second four hours late, with her permission, and finished that one as well.  It was a hell of a day.

- Rick the irresponsible.

Word of Mouth

Word of Mouth is the best and most flattering form of advertising.  I am pleased that this is how most of my customers come to contract my services.

However, I'm not going to have a day off until sometime in the middle of November (provided it doesn't get too cold before then). 

I'm already exhausted - and sore.

Good night.

Front Row at the Marathon

Today I had a front row view of the Twin Cities Marathon.  It's a beautiful run, by the way, around the lakes, by Minnehaha Creek, down Summit Avenue.  It bills itself as the most beautiful urban marathon in the nation.  I don't doubt that this is true.

I hadn't intended to have such a nice view of it, and on hand for all the runners to go by - from start to finish - but the house I worked on today was right on Minnehaha Creek.  The weather was perfect, about 75 degrees, clear, and a slight breeze.  People cheered all the runners and I glanced often from my ladder, or from the roof of the house.

It made me sad for myself.  I used to be in great shape, before my knee problems (and operations).  Now I'm forty pounds overweight and don't do much exercise outside walking my dog and working.  I need to change that.  It's just that working out is boring for me when I can't compete against other people in some sort of sport.  I've played competitive baseball, softball, football, soccer, racquetball, and most of all, basketball.  I've wrestled, ran track, practiced martial arts, and ran distance events.  With the pain, I can do none of that now and I just hate working out as a result.

After the Autumn rush is over, I'm going to find some new physical activity.  I have to.

Rick the frustrated