The Job Interview, or Lessons in Sabotage

I'm not looking for a bright shining beacon of industrious brilliance.  I'm looking for a helper: someone strong enough to move the ladders, smart enough not to break things, honest enough not to steal, and brave enough not to fear heights.  It shouldn't be too hard.

I interviewed my fifth candidate last night.  Now he knew what job he was interviewing for, but he showed up in a pinstripe suit with white tie.  That was my first clue that this guy wouldn't be right for me.  But I gave it a chance and I was hopeful through our discussion.  He'd had a rough life but it looked like things were getting on track for him.  He had his own place, his own transportation, and a fiancé which is how I knew of him because his fiancé is a nice, hardworking employee for a business friend. 

He seemed eager enough and he showed a grasp for my requirements.  I was ready to give him a shot, until the end. 

"God bless you," he said.  "I'll pray for you tonight."

"Excuse me?" 

"I'm a very spiritual guy," he continued.  "And I was also wondering about the hours, because I need to be at church by five on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and I need every Sunday off for sure.  I have to constantly strengthen my bonds with my Savior."

"Oh," I said.  I didn't really have anything else to say.  What do you say to someone who just spontaneously decided he was going to pray for me.  Do I need his prayers?  Will his prayers prompt me to hire him?  Will his Jesus come down and do the Jedi mind trick on me and then one day this guy will be working for me and I'll hand him his paycheck and then I'll wonder, 'how did that happen?'

I met him at a coffee shop for the interview because I don't have a formal office.  After being blessed, I escaped. 

 - rick, creeped out

Comments

[Cherise]

I am laughing my ass off! I love that he is praying for you! That's a classic. And are you saying you and the bro don't wear suits while washing windows? Weird! ;p

[Success Warrior]

In his defense, I'd like to say that it wouldn't take very long to know that you're going to hell and that some serious prayers were needed in order to save your soul from eternal damnation. I think it showed a great deal of compassion and caring for him to ask his invisible friend to watch out for you.

Now the Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday thing is a bit much. I know God's busy and all but 5pm seems inconvenient for just about everyone on *this* planet. You know how it is with gods. They are so far removed from the actual lives of human beings that they overlook issues that are important to us, like holding down a job so that we can eat. Being immortal must be nice in that sense.

[mattman]

Maybe it was a suck-up ruse -- like he thought being over the top on the religious stuff would butter you up (as it would with much of the believing crowd, who would think oh my, here's a good xian man, I think I'll hire him *gag*). He don't know you very well, do he? :)

[jane]

Dummy.

[Success Warrior]

Jane, don't be so hard on Rick. He's doing the best he can with what he has.

[a rose is a rose]

i can't tell you how many times how many people have told me they'd pray for me.

my four stock answers?
1) no thanks. pray for yourself. you obviously need it MUCH more than i do
2) that's funny, i was JUST going to pray for YOU
3) what makes you think i need or want your prayers?
4) f**k YOU