Montana Jones and the Fighting Baboon

Alright everyone.  I tried to write the story of Montana Jones and the baboon, but I couldn't do it.  The problem isn't that it's not an interesting story, it's just that I can't put it on my blog.  The fact of the matter is that it was a different world in 1971 when the incident happened.  Back then animals were treated badly and few cared.  Back then handlers were bringing bears around to wrestle people in bars and there were small operators charging people a few cents to see lions caged up in the parking lot.  Back then it was a bit rougher, somewhat wilder, and a whole lot crueler. 

So, when Montana Jones went into the Armory Club on a Friday night and paid his five bucks to stand in a ring for one minute with a baboon, there wasn't the stigma that we have today.  He did it for the prize money, three hundred bucks.  And he did it because he was Montana Jones and that means he wasn't afraid of anything. 

I started writing the story like I heard it.  The bar was grimy, the baboon's handler was as shady and disreputable as Montana and probably just as drunk.  The chalk square on the floor was ten feet on a side and one by one the baboon had dispatched opponents.  Because of the muzzle, the animal couldn't bite and because of the chain it couldn't pursue anyone outside that box, but inside the square he could tackle, attack, and maul human beings.

The reason I couldn't continue writing the story is because I can't glorify that sort of cruelty and the telling of it seemed to glorify it.  The fact is that a man shouldn't be able to stay in the square with a baboon. The primate's arms are so strong it can outpunch any prize fighter who's ever lived.  It's main weapon was it's slap, a lightning quick practiced blow upside the head that dazed some and knocked out others.  After the slap, the baboon would then push the men right out of the ring.  The fights didn't last a minute, they didn't last fifteen seconds.

So that's the story I tried to tell, but telling the second by second details of the fight from Montana's point of view made him seem heroic against a chained and muzzled animal that undoubtedly had led an abused life. So despite the outcome, the baboon didn't deserve it, however improbable it seems to this day.

The slap never connected with Montana's head.  He kept his arms up and slapping a fisherman's arms is a losing proposition, I don't care what species you are.  He barreled into the baboon and they both went backwards. The handler should've stopped it right there but he wasn't quick enough to realize what was happening or how mean Montana Jones really was. 

So, without the details I'll tell you this.  Montana Jones killed a baboon in a bar on a Friday night in 1971 and walked out of there with three hundred dollars for it.  However unlikely, that's what happened.  The baboon didn't deserve it and Montana shouldn't have done it, but what's done is done and what is, is. 

The message to this story isn't that Montana is that strong or mean or even that he's that resourceful.  The message is that when you put wild animals in captivity and mix them unfortunately with human beings, someone is going to get hurt.  Sometimes it's the humans, but always in the end it's the animals.  We're victimizing them every time we exploit them and we're killing them a little bit inside with each link of chain and each bar.  It wasn't an act of heroism that ended the life of that baboon, for his life had truly ended long before that night.  It wasn't even an act of heroism that caused Montana to step into that square.  It was the desperation of a fisherman who hadn't had a good catch in weeks and needed a few bucks to keep going. 

This isn't the story I started out writing tonight, but it's the only one that felt right.

- rick, eulogizing a fighting baboon

Comments

[a rose is a rose]

thanks for no details but i shouldn't have read this at all. this kind of thing still goes on in 2008, it didn't stop in 1971.

i have a tendency to preach but i'll stop now so i don't

[Cherise]

I just don't understand how in any time period people could find that kosher. It seems to me anyone with an ounce of conscience wouldn't be able to do that no matter the time era. Ya know? You could put me in a way back machine and I'd never find that entertaining. Makes me a lil ill. I like how you wrote this story. If you would have wrote it any other way it wouldn't as well. :)

[Cherise]

Supposed to be "it wouldn't have worked as well" Brain cells aren't functioning on high power. ;)

[Cele]

Rick, thank you for several things. I never knew this happened. Wow, culture shock for me. I remember hearing about cockfights, dog fights, and donkey shows, but believe it or not it wasn't until I moved to Oregon in my late teens. I some how lived all those years in ignorant bliss.

And a lot of the world still does. Even our American culture is divided. I was mind boggled when Michael Vick thought his "fans" would understand. Huh? what century was he living in? Then came the brutally sad realization that humans are still dumb/cruel animals. We're progressing, but not at an even speed. Kind of like global warming and our awareness of the cause and effect. It makes a difference to some, to others not, and even more are blissfully unaware.

[bex]

judge not lest ye be judged...

I'm sure they who lament about the 'cruelty' of others are themselves capable of horrific evils. There are dozens of research papers about this phenomenon: the majority of ordinary people would torture an innocent human being to death, as long as somebody told them to do it.

[CV Rick]

Not my readers, bex.