Small, Medium and Large

I often refer to Small, Medium and Large in this blog, because they are my children and as such they play an understandably important role in my life.  I don't refer to them here by their real names because there ought to be a reasonable expectation of privacy and I don't want some nitwit I've pissed off to take it out on my children.  Fair enough?

We have a blended family, common enough in these times.  Two of the children, Small and Medium are the product of gf (my girlfriend if the abbreviation threw you) and her ex-husband, and one of the children, Large is mine with my ex-wife.  Custody and visitation agreements are such that we have any combination of children from zero to three in our home at any given time.

Today is the day for blog introductions.

Small:

He's into history.  I don't mean he watches the history channel.  I'm saying that this boy can consume history books, shows, specials, and museums like a drunk goes through cases of beer.  He knows about the wars and kings or rulers and the weapons to a degree that I've learned to just accept what he's saying and move on, because I've rarely found him speaking on historical subjects incorrectly. He's also uncanny with accents, slipping fluidly from convincing Irish-American to Scottish-American to British without effort.  I don't know where or how he learned it, but it's amazing to hear.  One thing to know about Small is that he's a schedule eater.  He eats 17 times a day and try to point out that he's eaten enough and, like Tolkein's hobbits, he'll point out that second dinner ought to be served now and he means NOW. 

Medium:

This is the one that will fool you.  At age eleven she tested out of school, seriously.  Her IQ is out of this world, making me, the guy who got a Master's in Mathematics and was a National Merit Scholar, only the third smartest in the family. (behind Medium and her mother)  She's a talented artist, a voracious reader, and a truly gifted musician who at last count could play bass guitar, keyboard, violin, trombone, drums, and probably whatever else she decides to pick up and figure out.  But, life isn't always rosy with a smart girl around.  She has a tendency to set her own agenda and rarely does it coincide with my priorities, often pitting me against her in a duel of argumentative frustration where I'm backpedaling to enforce my dictates versus her logical maneuvering.  We only need a jury and some closing arguments and we'd have an opportunity for verdict.

Large:

On the phone the other night I was talking to Large.  I asked, "How's school?" 
He answered, "We're in Spring football practice now.  I'm in the weight room every day."
"Yes, but how's school?"
"You ought to see me, I look good."
"Yes, I understand that, but how are you doing in school?"
"I'm ripped.  I've got abs and can squat a lot of weight, dad.  You know what squats are?  That's when you take the weight and put it on your shoulders and . . . "
"Yes, I know what squats are, I'm not an idiot.  Now, listen closely.  How are you doing in school?"
"All A's."

He's smart enough to pull A's, but the boy is into sports and girls.  I have no idea where that comes from.  One time he told me that about a million girls in his school like him.  It's like someone cursed me, isn't it?

For future reference, that's Small, Medium and Large.

- rick, parental.

Comments

[Success Warrior]

You? Piss off people?

[CV Rick]

Shocking, I know. But it could happen, I'm sure. There are a lot of nuts out there.

[Cherise]

Very cool blog with my morning cuppa. It sounds like you have great kids. Now tell Large to get off the football field, out of the weight room and start working on his basketball skills, damn it!

[Success Warrior]

Basketball?

Did you forget your helmet again?

[Cherise]

SW--LOL! No, I have a $20 bet that Large can kick Rick's butt in basketball this summer. Both Rick and Large have let me know that's not gonna happen, but would a little extra effort hurt?

[Amy]

You're in third because Small's IQ hasn't been tested yet and because Large's school hasn't told you his. Admit it.

[CV Rick]

Amy,

I'll admit nothing. Nothing.

[Success Warrior]

Cherise,

I might want in on the action. Will Ricky T be allowed to use his walker during this game?

[Cherise]

Amy-
Let us not forget Sarge, Rick's dog. He seems pretty smart, too.;)

[Cherise]

SW-
LOL! I think I made the same walker joke. I told Large to run dear ole dad around the court and while Pop's is huffin and puffin Large could win. I think you should get in on the action. This could get interesting.

[a rose is a rose]

thank the goddess large never became an eagle scout. we all know where he'd be paddling his canoe right now (since he takes after popi so much)

medium sounds like my kind o' babe! you can't go wrong knowing how to play the bass

small and i could trade speaking in irish accents. i don't have any in me BUT i hang at an irish pub and i can't even say 'cathy' any longer. it's ALWAYS 'cotty'

rick, both you AND your family are very lucky to have each other!

[Amy]

LOL, Cherise! Can Rick follow a scent trail or guard the house with his sharp teeth and menacing presence? I doubt it. Fortunately, Rick has pals like us to point out to him that he's not in third place -- he's in sixth. Behind the dog. ;-)

[John]

Nice post Rick. Such an extraordinary family always sounds great. But I have to say that the view from a smaller pond seems better this morning. I think we're about the same in terms of intelligence, but at least I know I'm in the top two in our house. :p

[CV Rick]

So, do you people want to include the neighbors? Want to rank me at least in the top 100 in the neighborhood? Jeez, where's the love?

John, you and me are going to start a survivalist militia camp in the wilderness and play chess. That way neither of us will have to lose to thirteen year old girls.

[CV Rick]

Rose,

You'd be Small's best friend if you spoke in accents.

[John]

Deal!

[sugar]

These are my babies. That I am this luck is astounding. They are all clever and beautiful and challenging and funny.
Love you, my babies.

[Large]

I will never get off the field, its like home to me

[Large]

I will never get off the field, its like home to me

[CV Rick]

Large Posted on my blog . . . WOOT WOOT!!