Weird Harold, Episode 1 of 5

When I was in the military I had a friend, Weird Harold.  He was one of the most interesting characters I've ever known.  He was bright and funny, and sometimes the stupidest man on the planet. 

Weird Harold had a beautiful wife, she had long, straight blond hair down the middle of her back.  Her cheekbones were high like signposts toward deep brown eyes.  He also had two cute-as-a-button daughters, little blondies, both of them too young for school. 

But his one true love wasn't his wife or those girls, it was his car.  He had just reenlisted and had gotten a $20,000 reenlistment bonus which he used to buy a car, a 1986 Grand Am.  But he didn't pay cash for it.  What he did was pay enough to get a loan and then poured all the rest of the money into improvements like new tires, chrome rims, and a four-grand Alpine stereo system. 

Harold would take his Grand Am to loudest stereo contests and win prizes.  He knew everything about acoustics, and would spend hours each week adjusting speakers and testing levels.  He'd also drive around with his stereo blasting over 110 decibels with his two beautiful daughters sitting in the back seat.  Remember that stupidest man comment earlier?

Fishing was his other love.  He'd go fishing anytime, in any weather.  One time he found this great fishing spot and convinced me to go with him in the middle of the winter.  I thought it would be Ice Fishing, but that crazy Harold had found an unfrozen lake in the middle of North Dakota in the dead of winter.

We took his little fishing boat and put it in the steamy water.  We drank a lot of beer and fished all night, from the time we got off work until we were ready to go back to work the next morning.  The only problem was that the fish were kind of soft and mushy, and that was while they were alive.   

So, we started the motor and headed to shore, and that's when we saw the flashing lights near the Grand Am. Pulling in, we were met with three security guards and two police officers.  It seemed that fishing in the power plant's pond wasn't exactly legal, and the fish weren't exactly safe to eat. 

What a ruckus we'd caused. 

Remember about Harold being stupid? Well, when he got in the car to drive back to base, in front of the policemen after being scolded for the fishing, he got his first DUI. I was trying to warn him, but he was too busy being buddy-buddy with the cops who were standing there in disbelief that this guy who'd been drinking beer all night on the lake was going to drive away in front of the police.

More on Harold tomorrow.

- rick, the trouble years

Next Episode - Weird Harold and the Bull

Comments

[Mark]

wow! how did he land that hottie wife?

[Success Warrior]

He said she was beautiful. He didn't say she was smart. =)

[Cherise]

Power plant fish are sorely underrated. Any chance weird Harold could be reading this? Would he be too stupid to realize you are talking about him? ;)