CV Rick Announcing His Candidacy Today

In an unprecedentedly crowded field, CV Rick is going to announce his Candidacy for President of the United States today at the Mall of America.  Situated between the third floor Hooters and Bubba Gump Shrimp Restaurant, he'll broadcast from a podium constructed from bargain books swiped from Barnes and Noble.  Carrying his announcement will be his personal portable FM scrambler network forcing all radio listeners within 200 feet to listen, preempting their regular stations, and proving his Media Mogul claim.  He's optimistic that Mall Security will also carry his announcement over their internal radio network.

He's confident that his announcement won't go unnoticed in the field of 24,558,763, and his PACs which include, CV's Casino Blackjack Card-Counting Group and CV's Lottery Number Spreadsheet Analysis Group, will be in charge of raising the millions required for a successful run. 

Attending his announcement ceremony will be anywhere from 3 to 10 of his closest bar buddies and whomever else falls for the "Carmen Electra's doing a Publicity Striptease on the Third Floor" political gambit.   Genius marks this candidacy right from the beginning.

- rick the candidate

Comments

[Sugar]

Hooters is on the fourth floor, Bubba Gump is on the third floor...your lack of MOA knowledge is astounding and can hurt your bid in the long run. Particularly, that fact that you won't which to way to run in order to escape mall security.

[CV Rick]

I understand the discomfort caused by my brand of challenging politics and your concern is one I've heard before. We, myself and my campaign staff, are planning on meeting this week about that very issue and we'll have a statement up on the website which will address my position in full.

I'm sure that you'll want to support more of my umm, well, umm initiatives (yeah, initiatives) and won't mind contributing a little extra money to my campaign.

Please mark the appropriate amount and become a team member. Don't let the labels intimidate you, they're just for our record keeping:

__ Champion ($50,000 +)

__ MVP ($25,000 - $49,999)

__ Coach ($10,000 - $24,999)

__ Starter ($5,000 - $9,999)

__ Up and Comer ($1,000 - $4,999)

__ Kid who tries hard ($500 - $999)

__ Has Been ($100 - $499)

__ Bum (less than $100)

[a rose is a rose]

i was afraid you were going to declare your candidacy for a state position. i would have had to establish residency and all that.

now i don't. although i cannot normally support someone who stands near a HOOTERS, i'll make an exception in your case

you've NOTHING to worry about

[Success Warrior]

Are Hooters and Bubba Gump contributing to your fund? Just wondering how you picked those two?

If elected, will you raise the minimum wage for everyone in America except for people who work at Hooters and Bubba Gump?

Not that people in politics would do anything like that.