CV Rick

The CV Rick Radical Weight Loss Program

This year I've come up with a program guaranteed to shed pounds and inches.  It's not the SuccessWarrior Plan, but It's so radical that it'll be considered dangerous by most experts.  In fact, I ought to get my head examined.

Last year while working, my brother and I would stop by one of these fine establishments every day at lunchtime.

But this year, the plan is as follows. 

Pack a sandwich.  Bring a half-gallon of water (and some EmergenC vitamin packets to mix with water).  Bring a piece of fruit (I prefer bananas or pears).  And finally a couple of Clif Bars to supplement as snacks. 

That's the program.  Bring my lunch and work really hard all day long. 

It seems to be working.  Don't tell anyone.

Election News - Mississippi Special Election

JACKSON, Miss. (AP) - Democrat Travis Childers has won a north Mississippi congressional race, claiming a seat the Republicans have held since 1994. Childers defeated Republican Greg Davis today (Tuesday) in a special election runoff. That makes it three seats in a row in heavy Republican districts that have gone to Democrats. The first was former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert's seat in Illinois 14th district. The second was in In Louisiana where Democrat Don Cazayoux won a special election May 3 and took a seat Republicans had held since 1974. In all three elections the Republicans tried to tie the Democrat challenger to Barack Obama and liberalism. In all three this strategy backfired. It's going to be a long, tough year for Republicans.  They're going to hemorrhage seats this fall.

Does George W. Bush Support Barack Obama?

Last weekend President Bush's daughter was married in Crawford, Texas.  The man who officiated over the ceremony was Reverend Kirbyjon Caldwell, a  senior pastor of Windsor Village United Methodist Church. 

Why is this important? For weeks those on the right (and Hillary's surrogates of course) have told us that Barack Obama has been influenced and shares the beliefs of his pastor, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright.  The possibility that one's relationship with one's pastor can be spiritual and that one can have serious differences in personal and political arenas has been dismissed and scoffed away as the dwadlings of weak minds. 

So, if one's pastor, one's spiritual adviser has that much sway then it's only natural that the man described as Bush's spiritual adviser much also have influence over the President, his daughter and the rest of the Bush family.

Allow me to quote:

Caldwell has long been a spiritual advisor to George W. Bush. The evangelical convictions of both Caldwell and Bush are well-known.

And,

An influential Houston minister who has long been a spiritual adviser to President George W. Bush says he will endorse Barack Obama's bid for the presidency.

The Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, senior pastor of Windsor Village United Methodist Church, said Saturday that he's backing the Illinois senator because of Obama's "character, confidence and courage."

Obama, a Democrat, is electable and "would do a wonderful job to bring people together to pursue a common vision we all have," said Caldwell

But that's different, they'll say.

Why?  Because Rev. Wright says things that are specifically afro-centric?  That's a more sinister message?  That's something that HAS TO transcend from the pulpit to the mind of the congregate whereas other political ideals will not?  Think about that for a minute and then laugh with me at the hypocrisy of that particular rationale.

Obviously, Bush doesn't have to believe all of what his pastor says yet Obama must have.  Why would anyone draw the line in the sand at this ridiculous point unless it were purely to attempt to tear Obama down?   Is someone out there so delusional that they give Bush more mental control, more self-confidence than they do Obama?  Someone who says Bush is a stronger person - this drug and alcohol addicted AWOL frat boy up against the president of the Harvard Law Review?

Set aside the message for one minute and let's go back to my original assertion - that a person can have a pastor, an aunt, a crazy old uncle, or even a cult-following father (as I do) and have a long-term relationship with that person and not necessarily accept their views.  See? My assertion stands the test of hypocrisy.  Does yours? 

Personally I don't care who supervised Jenna Bush's marriage.  I am not the one who ascribed such importance to the convictions of religious leaders.  But that's why I'm not a nutty, freaky, "anything to win" theocon windbag. 

- rick, drawing parallels. 

The Stripper Sex Chronicles - Part Two

Warning:  This story series will contain scenes of a sexual nature. If this offends you, please don't continue reading it.

She did wear a bikini while mowing her lawn; a yellow one.  Her name was Debbie. She had long, dark brown hair and she was addicted to working out. It showed.  Debbie was married to Bob, a local high school football coach.  He was a six-foot four-inch muscle with a gruff voice and a crushing handshake. 

Debbie and Bob came right over and introduced themselves with a tray of cookies and an invitation to a barbecue.  We got to know the neighbors all right away.  There were cookouts and beers in the front yards daily. Everyone was most interested in Dylan right from the outset because every time he'd ride up on his Harley there was a different girl riding behind him on the seat.  He wasn't discriminatory:  blonds, brunettes, redheads were all seen riding that motorcycle. 

“Doesn't Dylan getting tired of all these different girls,” Gretchen from down the street asked me one day.  She had a little catering business and her husband drove a tool truck. 

“He doesn't seem to.” 

“I think he should find a nice girl and settle down,” she said with a nod. 

“He's in love with this girl named Misty.  At least that's what he claims,” I said. 

“What's she like?”

“To tell you the truth, Gretchen, I've never met her.  But he talks about her all the time, even when these other girls are around.”

“That sounds like an excuse to me.  He's imagined a relationship to block any others from starting.” 

Gretchen might've been on to something.

Don't Watch if You're Scared of Heights

Cool

Saturday Meme – What Every Man Should Be Able To Do.

I found a cpuple of these lists and I've compiled them here.  This is what it says a man should do.  Underlined are the ones I can do.  The rest show my inadequacy as a man.

Esquire Magazine – 75 Skills Every Man Should Master

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence.

2. Tell if someone is lying.

3. Take a photo.

4. Score a baseball game.

5. Name a book that matters.

6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible.

7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.

8. Not monopolize the conversation.

9. Write a letter.

10. Buy a suit.

11. Swim three different strokes.

12. Show respect without being a suck-up.

13. Throw a punch.

14. Chop down a tree.

15. Calculate square footage.

 

A Call for Daniel Abraham

I'm trying to contact Daniel Abraham about his fantastic story, which I featured for this past week.  The frustrating part is that the wonky reader the story is packaged in has a fault which prevents three of the pages from being viewed - so after getting hooked and interested the reader - ME - gets frustrated, screams and curses, and can't read the rest of the story. 

Since I have to work all day, if someone can try to contact him through his website or publisher or whatnot I'd appreciate it.  See if he'll get us an authorized, untainted copy of the story and I'll feature it again for another week.

Thanks,

Rick,  busy, frustrated, frantic, and out of here till dusk.

p.s.  If you do contact him, and if you know my number (some of you do and the rest of you aren't going to get it), have him give me a call.

Growing Up Mormon - A Conversation With a Client

Normally on Thursdays I write some vignette or an episode from a longer story of my childhood in the Mormon Religion.  Today however, I had a conversation with a client that stayed with me and I'd like to share it with you.

We were talking about how he had become an attorney.

"I was a field agent with the F.B.I. for five years.  But when I found out that there was no chance for advancement I decided to apply to law school."

I said, "Were all the positions filled or were they just not promoting?"

"I don't suppose you know anything about Mormons," he said.  I remained silent at that.  "The FBI had a very high number of Mormons and in my office advancement was dependent on how well you got along with them.  Since I wasn't about to pretend to be interested in their religion and I wasn't interested in changing my supposed bad habits, I was far down the list."

"Really?  It was about the Mormons?" I asked.

"They are a very cliquish people.  They take care of their own first and foremost.  My partner wouldn't follow orders from our direct supervisor unless he cleared it with the highest ranking Mormon in our office.  He'd call him at home and talk about what he'd been told to do.  He said it was a matter of respecting his priesthood leaders.  To me it all seemed like some weird cult.  I could imagine them in robes around a dark altar offering blood oaths to each other." 

At that I laughed openly. 

He continued.  "I had to get out of there and law school seemed like a good place to make my own advancement."

"It really turned you off to Mormons, didn't it?" I asked.

"Yes, it did."

At that I told him a bit about my story, Alma the Lamanite, and my experiences growing up.  I also explained the doctrinal reasons why Mormons believe darker skin color is punishment delivered by God on his more unworthy children. 

My client is African American.  At the explanation he shook his head and sighed.

- rick, atheist

The Limbaugh Effect

In Indiana Hillary Clinton won by less than 25,000 votes.  This comes during a concerted campaign by Rush Limbaugh who encouraged his listeners, all conservative Hillary haters, to register as democrats and vote for Clinton.  He calls this strategy Operation Chaos.  His theory is that the longer the democrats fight each other and the nastier the fighting gets the more damage will be done and McCain will be able to sail through the general election. 

This tactic seemed to work in Texas where Hillary received the press as being the state's winner but after all the votes were counted from primaries and caucuses Obama ended up winning the state and the majority of its delegates. 

Now exit polling shows that Limbaugh's call to his Republican listeners produced far more than the 2% margin of victory.  This is an example of dirty politics, probably illegal, from the "anything-to-win" disgusting side of the American political spectrum - the conservatives.

Before you decry my pronouncement with typical "liberals will do it to" ca-cawing, please find me one example of any Republican primary election swayed by actions from Democratic voters.  Just one.  It isn't true that both sides of the political aisle are the same when it comes to corruption.  One side is just wrong and this is another example.

- rick, disgusted

Obama - Is this the Day?

If he sweeps North Carolina and Indiana then maybe we can put all this primary crap behind us. 

Here's two great videos - the first is an example of how to take the right wing's most effective tactic and use it against John McCain.  Brought to us by the folks at Mad TV.

And here's The Empire Strikes Barack:

rick, weary of the primary season

The Stripper Sex Chronicles - Part One

Warning:  This story series will contain scenes of a sexual nature. If this offends you, please don't continue reading it.  (although this first episode is pretty tame)

I had more sex with more different women during my first year of grad school at the University of Oklahoma than at any other time of my life.  The reasons were varied but mostly hinged on my friend, Dylan. 

As part of the requirements for one of my scholarships I had to work in my field within the University Programs.  The U operated an outreach  for academic help to local junior colleges as part of a grant program and the Dean put me in charge of the Weekend Mathematics Laboratory at a local community college.  It was a great job.  I got to help students with everything from arithmetic to differentials and I had a small crew of talented undergrad students to assist me.  The student body had a range between high school kids picking up college credits to retirees returning to school in their free time, so I learned all the different ways of connecting to people and explaining what to them were very difficult concepts.

My best assistant was Dylan.  He was mentally quick enough but his real talent was in his patience.  He'd sit with someone and listen to how they thought things ought to work and then be able to explain in their way how to tackle problems differently.  He had this really cool way of gazing right at someone and making them feel as if they were the only person in the room. Oh, he was also a pretty attractive man. He had Hollywood hair, almost mussed, dark.  He always wore shorts to show off tattoos on his calves – a snake coiled around a dagger and a roses dripping blood.

More than one girl came into the lab just to sit next to Dylan.  Once, less than a week after I met him, he came running over to me.

“I have to go for a while.”

“You just started work,” I said. He'd been helping this thin brunette girl for less than ten minutes.

“I'll be back.  I just have to go. Now.”  He was nodding in the direction of the door.  The brunette was standing there with her book bag over her shoulder.

My Week in Photos

One of the more interesting things about my job is the magnificent houses I get to work in . . . and it's self-perpetuating.  The more large beautiful houses I work in, the more owners of other large, beautiful houses hear about me and hire me.   

This is one of the prize homes I've done.  It's okay for me to put the photo on my blog because it's an historic home that's been turned into a museum/tour.  No one lives there any longer.

more photos after the jump:

Saturday Meme - Unread Books

From Kelly at Wyrdsmiths.  A list of the 106 (weird number to settle on) books most often listed as "unread" on librarything. The original instructions say italicize books started but not finished, bold books read, and bold and underline books read for school.

I'm adding two asterisks for books I have on my list to read - this year or next.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina **
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude **
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel **
The Name of the Rose **
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace **
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin **
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway

Featured Post - Ninja Writer's Story Club - Week 5

The Cambist and Lord Iron: A Fairy Tale of Economics by Daniel Abraham

Featured Post - This will stay on top of the page for a week - scroll down for newer content.

Last week's story by Stephen Baxter was not well received.  I'd say it suffered from unsympathetic main characters and while it had a novel plot device, the execution was hampered by point of view.
 

This week we have a tale by one of Lyda's colleagues at SF Novelists, Daniel Abraham.  This story is up against The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate by Ted Chaing, which is a tough story to compete with.  Let's see how it is.  The online reader for this story is a bit tricky, but once you figure it out, you'll find it's more like reading a book than a normal site page.

For as many years as anyone in the city could remember, Olaf Neddelsohn had been the cambist of the Magdalen Gate postal authority. Every morning, he could be seen making the trek from his rooms in the boarding house on State Street, down past the street vendors with their apples and cheese, and into the bowels of the underground railway only to emerge at the station across the wide boulevard from Magdalen Gate.

read the rest . . .

CAUTION - as usual with the Story Club, the comments are going to contain spoilers.

The Cambist and Lord Iron: A Fairy Tale of Economics by Daniel Abraham

Featured Post - This will stay on top of the page for a week - scroll down for newer content.

Last week's story by Stephen Baxter was not well received.  I'd say it suffered from unsympathetic main characters and while it had a novel plot device, the execution was hampered by point of view.
 

This week we have a tale by one of Lyda's colleagues at SF Novelists, Daniel Abraham.  This story is up against The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate by Ted Chaing, which is a tough story to compete with.  Let's see how it is.  The online reader for this story is a bit tricky, but once you figure it out, you'll find it's more like reading a book than a normal site page.

For as many years as anyone in the city could remember, Olaf Neddelsohn had been the cambist of the Magdalen Gate postal authority. Every morning, he could be seen making the trek from his rooms in the boarding house on State Street, down past the street vendors with their apples and cheese, and into the bowels of the underground railway only to emerge at the station across the wide boulevard from Magdalen Gate.

read the rest . . .

CAUTION - as usual with the Story Club, the comments are going to contain spoilers.

The Cambist and Lord Iron: A Fairy Tale of Economics by Daniel Abraham

Featured Post - This will stay on top of the page for a week - scroll down for newer content.

Last week's story by Stephen Baxter was not well received.  I'd say it suffered from unsympathetic main characters and while it had a novel plot device, the execution was hampered by point of view.
 

This week we have a tale by one of Lyda's colleagues at SF Novelists, Daniel Abraham.  This story is up against The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate by Ted Chaing, which is a tough story to compete with.  Let's see how it is.  The online reader for this story is a bit tricky, but once you figure it out, you'll find it's more like reading a book than a normal site page.

For as many years as anyone in the city could remember, Olaf Neddelsohn had been the cambist of the Magdalen Gate postal authority. Every morning, he could be seen making the trek from his rooms in the boarding house on State Street, down past the street vendors with their apples and cheese, and into the bowels of the underground railway only to emerge at the station across the wide boulevard from Magdalen Gate.

read the rest . . .

CAUTION - as usual with the Story Club, the comments are going to contain spoilers.

Featured Post - This will stay on top of the page for a week - scroll down for newer content.

Last week's story by Stephen Baxter was not well received.  I'd say it suffered from unsympathetic main characters and while it had a novel plot device, the execution was hampered by point of view.
 

This week we have a tale by one of Lyda's colleagues at SF Novelists, Daniel Abraham.  This story is up against The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate by Ted Chaing, which is a tough story to compete with.  Let's see how it is.  The online reader for this story is a bit tricky, but once you figure it out, you'll find it's more like reading a book than a normal site page.

For as many years as anyone in the city could remember, Olaf Neddelsohn had been the cambist of the Magdalen Gate postal authority. Every morning, he could be seen making the trek from his rooms in the boarding house on State Street, down past the street vendors with their apples and cheese, and into the bowels of the underground railway only to emerge at the station across the wide boulevard from Magdalen Gate.

read the rest . . .

CAUTION - as usual with the Story Club, the comments are going to contain spoilers.

Growing Up Mormon - The Mormon Uniform

Mormon missionaries wear white shirts, dark ties, a nametag, and a bicycle helmet.  That's their uniform.  When I turned twelve I received the Aaronic Priesthood and was then worthy to pass the sacrament, water and bread, to the congregation.  From that point on I had no choice about what to wear to church: white shirt, dark tie, dress shoes.

What happened the day I decided to wear something different?  After I broke my hand in wrestling I had this nasty cast plus a frame and pin set up.  I couldn't get anything over my arm, so instead of the uniform, I wore a t-shirt, stretched to fit over my hand and a track jacket over that.  My dad went to church early and we followed later, so my outfit wasn't 'approved' by him although my mother commiserated with me on the difficulty of donning the normal uniform. 

First, an older boy, a priest - I think he was 17 - told me I couldn't pass the sacrament dressed like that.  Fine, I thought, no biggie I'll just sit with my family.  But that was just the beginning of the shitstorm.  The Aaronic Priesthood counselor found out and told the Elder's Quorum President who told the first counselor to the Bishop who then told the Bishop and he came to talk to me. 

"You'll have to go home and change."

"Why?  Don't you know about my wrist?"

"We have standards that must be adhered to and any wild clothing choices are a distraction from the spirit."

Then my father came marching into the foyer.  He'd obviously been told.  His lips were stretched so tight across his mouth that they disappeared.  He focused on me to the exclusion of all else. 

"I've got this handled, Bishop," he said.  Then he grabbed my by my hair and marched me out of the building and into the work van he'd driven to church.  He didn't speak to me because his embarrassment was too great for words.

At home I was having trouble with the door because of awkwardness with the injury, equipment, cast.  He pushed through me, opened the door and went ahead where he grabbed one of my white shirts.  It tore over my metal frame and it hurt like hell.  I don't think I cried, but I know I wanted to . . .

He handed me some safety pins to close the rips and I grabbed a tie and headed to the door.  I remember being surprised that he'd kick me right through the front door as I opened it, but I guess he really felt the embarrassment strongly and the spirit demanded that I pay retribution for mocking his presence in church.

To this day Mormon men wear nothing but white shirts, dark ties, and slacks.  Because conformity above all else is holy - just look at the words of Jesus . . . wait, uh maybe someone else was a better example of conformist.  I'll get back to you on that.

- rick, owner of no white shirts.